Comebacks

Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.


Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.


Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me…I said, You Look fat in those pants.



Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking…for a Gorilla, that is…


Boss: Employees like that don’t grow on trees you know…
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them…


Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It’s called Soap - don’t think you’ve ever smelt it before…



Man: Say, haven’t we met before?
Woman: Yes, I’m the head Nurse at the VD clinic.


Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you’re dead right…I want you to go away!


Wife: Darling, do you think I’ll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes



Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought