One Liners

Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.'



Girls think boys are fit. Boys think girls are sexy. But hey, no worries - I sure science will come up with somin to help u.



I think it is time I tell you what people are saying behind your back...! Nice Ass.



How to impress woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her
How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer.



How do u keep an idiot amused? Watch this message until it goes away!


It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.


Whats the best thing about babies? MAKING EM!In Ikea they have a Shelf storage system called Nob - So that's the only shop you can go into and ask the assistant to wheel your Nob to the car cuz it's too heavy.



Q: Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation?

A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

 

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?



Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole!