Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?He was looking for Pooh!
Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today !!!Clean cup
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the cup is clean!"
Waiter instructs the cook: "Two teas, with one asked for a clean cup."
What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors
Santa: If I die, will you remarry?Jeeto: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?
Santa: No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Santa: So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?Banta: Yes- their dog is our dog's brother.
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor.He was treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only."
