Comebacks

Brother: I love biscuits
You: That's cuz your crackers


You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.


Do you notice how I’ve kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see…all spotty



Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I’m going to mine.


Man: So, what’s your sign?
Woman: No Entry


Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.



Friend: I’ve just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed…


Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell


Friend: I’ve changed my mind…
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?



Hey, I may be fat, but you’ll always be ugly, and I can diet.