Cool sms jokes

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with George Bush.
George Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.
George Bush: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
George Bush: more…more. ..more… Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
George Bush: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
George Bush : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited George Bush to India. Next year George Bush was in India
Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same…he takes George Bush to a forest. Sardarji : Dig it. George Bush does.
Sardarji : more…more. …. George Bush goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. George Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?
George Bush : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!


Ghamon Ke Sailab To Pehle Bhi Bardasht Kar Lete They Ali
Par Ab To Ek Qatray Se Bhi Aankhain Bheeg Jati Hain.


Teacher: ITTEFAQ ka koi jumla banao
Pathan: jis din mere baap ka shaadi tha ITTEFAQ se usi din meri maa ka bhi shaadi tha



Santa & Banta were sitting outside a clinic.
Santa was crying like anything.
So Banta asked:”Why are you crying?”
Santa replied: “I came here for blood test”
Banta:” So? Are you afraid?”
Santa:”No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger”
Hearing this Banta started crying.
Santa was astonished and asked Banta: “Why are you crying?” Banta replied: “I have come for my urine test.”

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted “Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident” Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn’t have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.


Its funny when people discuss over “love marriage” and “arranged marriage”
It is like asking a person if he would like to “hang himself” or “shoot himself”.

What is a girl friend?
Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends.

Guide: “I welcome you all to Niagara Falls . These are the world’s largest
waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20
supersonic plane s passing by can’t be heard.

Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?”



A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbors wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbor goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out.


KASH BANANE WALE NE DIL KAANCH KA BANAYA HOTA,
KASAM SE TODNE WALE KE HAATH ME ZAKHM TO AAYA HOTA…


YUN DOOR RAHKAR, DURIYON KO BADHAYA NAHI KARTE,
APNE DEEWANO KO IS TARHA SATAYA NAHI KARTE,
HAR WAQT JINHE AAPKA KHAYAL REHTA HAI,
UNHE APNI AAWAZ KE LIYE YUN TARSAYA NAHI KARTE…



Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?*