Comebacks

Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.


Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...


Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty



Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.


Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry


Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.



Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...


Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell


Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?



Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...