Comebacks

Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.


Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...


Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell



Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?


Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...


Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...



Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.


Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.


Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.



Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!