Comebacks

Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell


Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?


Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...



Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...


Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.


Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.



Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.


Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!


Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes



Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought