Comebacks

Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet.


Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.


Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.



Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.


Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...


Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty



Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.


Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry


Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.



Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...